(I told you I'd be back tonight.)
"My cup is full to the brim/overflowing."
I am happy tonight. After a short shift at work, a mere 3 hours, I went to a restaurant with a bunch of friends from Bible study. We had conversation, laughter, and horrible service. I saw a couple friends who are back in town, if only briefly. But I still saw them. I thank God for the friends I have. But I need to get to know them better. I was texting one of them today, a guy that I used to have the BIGGEST crush on. He's tall, and really really ridiculously good-looking. He plays guitar and piano and drums and probably anything else he's ever set his hands on. He's good at EVERYTHING. He can carve pipes and tiki men. The guy that every woman falls for and every man is jealous of. That's the guy I fell for too. But that's in the past. Anyway, I was telling him I realized how very little I knew my friends! Which is sad. Between work and school schedules, I need to fit more time in for my friends. This guy told me that we'd have to have lunch sometime, and then he'd tell all. Hmm... *Is thinking he should have asked about 2 years ago before I met my boyfriend*
Speaking of my boyfriend... I love him. <3 Truly and honestly. He's the first guy I ever dated. We technically met online. We've been with each other in person 4 times, over a span of 1 year and almost 2 months of being a couple. When we're together, it's like everything is okay, and I am so calm and peaceful around him. Of course, my mind calm and peaceful leads to me being laid back, which leads to me not caring as much if things get out of hand- physically I mean. We haven't had sex, but definitely gone too far. So, over a year into our relationship, we finally set some boundaries about physicality. No touching under clothes; no touching over clothes in 3 "hot spots" on my body and the 1 "hot spot" on his. Kissing and cuddling is a necessity; but lips do not need to wander to any naturally unexposed skin. No pulling clothing aside. Strict? Yes. Necessary? YES. If we wanna keep our relationship pure and honoring God, then we need to behave a lot more than we have been. And as much as I love my guy, I just wish he had brought it up, so I wouldn't have to. He's a Christian too; but he doesn't seem to take it as seriously as I do/think as much about it. *sigh* I don't want to feel like I'm settling for less than what God's best for me is. But right now, I don't feel like my boyfriend IS God's best. I mean, there's no way we would be together if it weren't for Him. I just don't see how my man is living up to God's standard right now though- if we stay together in the long run, it will be because God has done a major work in my guy's heart. And I pray for it every day.
Anyway... I guess I'll stop rambling about my insecurity of the evening and head to bed. Got a shift at my OTHER job tomorrow. A short one, but still. It's work. Love to all.
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