Yára Melindor

"Old Lovers." (Old 'flames')

It's kind of funny how those with whom you once had relatively intense attachments to can make such a difference in your life, even when the attachment is gone. Or even just changed.

Just recently, like within the past month, two of my very special guy friends that I used to have strong ties with have gotten back in touch with me. One of them, we met on a roleplaying site; he was Gaston from Beauty and the Beast and I played the princess Kidagakash (a.k.a. Kida) from Atlantis: The Lost Continent. We quickly connected and grew close, sharing all aspects of our lives together. I was going through a really tough time with my dad and school, and he was my rock. He wrote me poetry and called me his angel. His sweetness and quiet strength was exactly what I needed. I grew away from the site as my life got better, and I missed the closeness we once had. Just recently we met back up on the same site; it was as if nothing had ever changed. He still called me angel, wrote me a poem... Despite circumstances in his life, he was still my quiet strength. We exchanged phone numbers and began texting each other every once in a while. I asked him on one occasion what would happen if he found another girl to call angel; he told me that she would get another name. He would only ever have one angel. It made my heart melt. He just texted me today, telling me he was thinking about me, hoping that I was happy. Of course I spilled my heart to him, and he listened patiently. Just like he's always done. I never realized until just now how hard it must be on him to have to be friends with me, when he wants more. It must hurt. I'm sorry, Josh. It was never intentional- the pain. Please move on and find another girl who deserves you!

The other man is Zack. We met a few years ago on IMVU. He not only listened to my problems, but he also offered his advice and told me some tough things- things I needed to hear. If I lived closer to him, he might be the man for me. But living all the way across the continent from me, twice as far as my boyfriend now, would just be too hard. Worse than the long distance I have now. He has a pet name for me too- he calls me "love." It's comforting and familiar. I had told him when I started dating my boyfriend that he wasn't allowed to call me that anymore; I'm glad he didn't listen. But he still offers his advice, and it just so happens that it usually lines up with what I know to be true and agree with.

Kinda funny how these guys have eased my mind and heart about things going on. I've missed talking with them. Ironic that men I used to like very much and have intimate connections with are still positively influencing my life, huh?

<3