Lúrëa Coivië

"Overcast Life."

Life right now is so stressful. My day today was absolutely horrible due to that fact. I stayed up all night last night to get my friend to work on time (6:00a.m.) because I am NOT a morning person and would totally have slept through my alarm. Plus she went to Bible study last night only because I promised to help her stay up too. Otherwise she would have missed out on an awesome night of Jesus-loving. (Last night was amazing- the Spirit totally moved. TOTALLY.) We watched a couple movies, The Ringer and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, to keep ourselves awake. She fell asleep. I didn't, thanks to Mtn. Dew and Stewart's Orange 'n' Cream soda. So I woke her up on time, took her to work, and then went home. I spent some time trying to stay awake until my boyfriend got up to go to work, but he didn't text me until after I had fallen asleep. Oh well. I spent the next five-ish hours sleeping on and off, but finally I just couldn't sleep at all and got up to do laundry. Played on the computer a bit, went to rescue my mom because she had locked her keys in the van.

I was GOING to take my dog with, but she decided she needed to take a crap in my car; she only got one turd out before I started a'yelling and a'hollering, and boy, did she stop that right quick. I had to ask God for forgiveness, because there were a bunch of words said that were completely unnecessary... Especially since my dog couldn't understand them. I'm really trying to quit cussing. It's not attractive. Anyway, I promptly turned around, dropped her (and her crap) back off at home, and went right back on my saving mission. Ugh. Made it back in time to shower, during which I had a long conversation with God about my life. Popped my laundry in the dryer and got to work 2 minutes late. Not a big deal. But that's when the crap started happening.

It was just one little thing after another. My boss was in a bad mood when I arrived; he kinda spreads it when he's unhappy. I had dumb-ass customers who really weren't using their brains, at all. I had a rush of customers when I was supposed to be closing, then once they were all gone and I was doing my reports, it was off by a freaking whole huge pile of money. I was so confused. Then after I finished up and re-did things, it matched. So dumb. And stressful. Took me an extra half hour to figure things out. Then another rush of customers in another area of the store. One of which had a malfunctioning machine, so I had to transfer their transaction to another one, shut down the uncooperative one, and then re-open it. Tonight just sucked. On top of all this, I had been texting my boyfriend, and we were discussing stuff. Like, whether or not we should stay together right now. (Currently we're arguing over the dumbest little stuff, but my horrible day has just put me in a mood not to deal with anything. I told him so, and he gets all offended. Smh. Can I never win?)

I'm tired. My back and feet are sore. My brain is fried and scrambled and burned. I just have no idea about my future, knowing that every decision I make now is going to affect the long run. Like school- do I try to go for the hospital college, or apply somewhere else? Or do I forget college here and move halfway across the country to be with my boyfriend? Because this whole long-distance thing isn't really working as well as I'd hoped it would. My jobs- do I stay at the one where I'm only getting scheduled 3 hours a week so I can keep my foot in the door, or do I quit and open my availability completely at my first job, where I'm a recently-promoted manager? Do I quit both jobs as soon as this semester's over an get my CNA license, which would give me a better paying job and a better foot-hold in the nursing industry, where my desired degree is headed? What do I do? I'm so confused. Prayers are appreciated... God and I are hashing it out.

Time for bed, totally. Maybe I just need to rest my mind. Love to all.